Turning Loss into Gain during a Pandemic
In 1965, a doctor and instructor at the University of Chicago’s medical school name Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, began a project about death with a group of theology students.  The work centered on interviews with people who were terminally ill and facing death.  A few years later, 1969, Kübler-Ross published a ground breaking book entitled. On Death and Dying.  She described the process people go through as they approach death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Her articulation of the experience of those who are terminally ill has led to a broader understanding that these stages (although not linear) can apply to all loss and grief.  I believe these categories can help us understand and move through the ongoing pandemic and its inherent losses.
We have all lost many things in the last 6 months – in-person time with friends or family members, vacation plans, a familiar routine, a sense of security, and even our experience of Mass and Church life.  We share similar experiences, but can each have very different emotions.  We can be at very different stages of loss and grief.  Naming where we are in the process or what we are experiencing is important.  We can begin with some basic questions: What am I experiencing today?  Am I in denial? – saying we will be back to normal soon or simply going about life as if there were no pandemic.  Am I angry? – snapping at others or overacting to situations.  Do I find myself bargaining? – Can you make an exception for me…visiting my mother or joining my husband on a doctor visit?  Am I just feeling depressed or anxious? – weary or afraid what’s going to happen next.  Have I accepted I am powerless over much of this? – at peace with the situation today or made successful adjustments in my life to move forward.  What is my reaction to the various things I have lost during the pandemic?
These are all ways to gauge our emotional life and help us move through the process, and even provide some emotional growth.  That is a start.  If we want to really turn this pandemic into a gain, we need to look at our experience from a spiritual perspective.   Faith reminds us that God is bigger than this pandemic or anything else that can happen to us. That doesn’t mean we are in denial.  It means we look to God for three things: support, meaning and guidance.
Begin with a focus on God in prayer.  Sometimes what we need most is to stop, reflect, and turn to God.  Consider what God is doing in our lives and who we are in God’s eyes – be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:11).  We are blessed with life each day and the countless ways God is caring for us.  When we pray, when we open our hearts to God, we can begin to acknowledge those blessings.  Equally important is remembering how God sees us – with love.  Knowing we are loved by God helps to keep challenges in perspective.  Try praying Psalm 139 or Jeremiah 31:3.  It may help to also simply spend time with Christ present in the Eucharist in adoration.  Christ Jesus is present to us in the Eucharist as a tangible sign of His love for us.  We begin to turn a corner when we pray and gratefully acknowledge God’s blessings to us.
God can bring meaning to loss.  We know that to God nothing is meaningless, but an opportunity.  In St. Paul’s letter to the Romans, he reminds them that “all things work for good for those who love God.” (Romans 8:28[a])  Take a few moments and think of good you have experienced in this pandemic.  Was it more family time?  Were you able to better balance work and personal life?  Have you noticed things you have had to give up, and learned they weren’t that important?  Has it moved you to deeper prayer or seeking God’s help?  God can make good come from anything, even loss, if we look to Him.
Finally, God can show us the way. When we lose something we can be disoriented.  It is a crisis.  The word crisis means crossroads.  There are decisions to make – maybe many decisions.  If we turn to God and ask Him to show us the way, we can make decisions for our spiritual good and those for whom we are responsible.  Ask God for guidance.  He guides us through His Spirit, the Church and Sacred Scripture.  Then look to His guidance and prayerfully listen, He will show us a better way.  He may be leading us to a place in our faith life we didn’t think possible.
There are many losses with this pandemic.  They can all be for our good – especially spiritually.  Whatever stage of grief we may be in, God is there to meet us and lead us to a fuller life.  Let’s all turn to Him.   
“Let nothing disturb you.  Let nothing frighten you.  Everything passes away except God.  God alone is sufficient.”  
~ St. Teresa of Avila
Yours in Christ,